Sometimes when relationships are hard, we can get obsessed with what has gone wrong...what is going wrong now...what is painful...what seems unacceptable.
I am so blessed to have orchids in my window. I look out and see the pine that often has had a simple, humble song sparrow near the spire. She (or he...I know almost nothing about birds except that their song brings me joy) sings her heart out...every morning now as I face each day and contemplate my place in the world.
Her song...the orchids...the pines...and even the clouds remind me to not miss a moment of joy even in the starkest and darkest of times. All of this invites me to focus on reality...not just the skewed reality of the impending storm...the beautiful clouds that mute the sun. I have choices. I do not have to interpret...judge...or discount any of what I see. My choice is to see it all. To listen. To take a minute to join with it. Even join with muted or hidden sun...and the fact that "my" bird is not in the picture. I open the door...and say, "Good Morning Friend," thank her for her song, breathe in the beauty of the orchids just above all of the dishes undone, listen to the wind, notice my old legs that are plodding around the house, let my mind wander to what it must be like to love someone and scared the virus might take them, accept my husband's choices (try not to interfere) and notice that I am seeing calm acceptance in this moment." I am at peace. Peace be with you too. Breathe.